Small Miracles

Alta Mira is all about people.  It always has been and always will be.  In our "Small Miracles" blog, we aim to share real stories about real people -- our clients.  We share their stories because we know that many, many people need to hear these transformational messages of possibility, acceptance and hope.  For your safety, you are asked to remain seated as you read these posts.  Your spirit, however, is free to soar!

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Quiet Confidence

By Nadine Dunning and Nancy Hunt

Many years ago, Margaret began working in a classroom with children with a variety of special needs.  Many of these children had complex medical issues. Working alongside therapists and other specialists, she became very interested in all the information she was exposed to and was eager to learn skills which would benefit these children.

Margaret learned quickly and was very conscientious in her implementation of the techniques the occupational therapist taught her. As the young mom of a child with special needs herself, Margaret began to discover a passion in working with these children. One child in particular was experiencing difficulty learning to sit and stand.  Day after day, she worked with him to stretch his hamstring muscles.  The child’s family had an appointment with an orthopedic doctor at Carrie Tingley Hospital, which at that time was in Truth or Consequences, NM, 150 miles away.  Margaret worked closely with this family, so when the time came to make the trip, they asked her to accompany them and she agreed. 

After examining the child, the doctor diagnosed shortened hamstrings which would require surgery.  Margaret, with a quiet confidence in her knowledge of this child, explained to the doctor that in a sitting position the child had limited trunk control. It was this lack of trunk control, and not shortened hamstrings, that was affecting his ability to sit upright.  She showed the doctor the improved range of motion in his hamstrings, as a result of the stretching exercises they had been doing.  The doctor took all of this information into consideration and changed his diagnosis based on Margaret’s knowledge of this child, saving him from unnecessary surgery! 
 

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Toni Made a Friend

Toni made a friend. 

Why does that matter, and who cares anyway?

A little over a year ago, Toni moved to New Mexico from out of state.  She has no family here, and until very recently she had no friends.  Work brought her here.  Not really an unusual story.  Yet. 

Toni is the single mom of young twins.  Both have developmental disabilities and both require an arduous amount of time and attention.  Sure, Toni was tired.  Her work was demanding; her children’s needs were sometimes exhausting.  But she could handle it.  Right up until she got the diagnosis:  Cancer.

Imagine facing the prospect of having to undergo surgery to remove cancer and there is absolutely no one in your life that is up to the challenge of caring for your special needs children while you are in the hospital.  Imagine having to undergo chemotherapy and having nowhere to leave your children while you receive treatment.  I guess you’d try to do what Toni did…you take them with you.  The kids get scared and act out in ways that can be disruptive in a medical setting. You get anxious and are tempted to forgo future treatments.  You’re torn between your two worst nightmares:  not surviving and leaving your exceptionally vulnerable children behind; or, having your children removed from your home. 

In the midst of her struggles, someone referred Toni to Alta Mira.  “Alta Mira helped me keep my family together during one of the most difficult times anyone could ever imagine,” Toni reports.  “Respite care from Alta Mira gave me the chance to concentrate a little on my own health care needs.  I take advantage of the time my children are in respite to find additional support in the community.” 

Some of that additional support came in the form of a friend who often volunteers to look after the children while Toni attends to work, appointments or just rests and recovers from the side effects of her treatment. 

Sometimes it doesn’t take a lot to completely transform a life or even a whole family of lives.  Sometimes it just takes a little bit of care at just the right time to get someone back on their feet.

That’s why it matters that Toni made a friend.  And, that’s why we all should care.

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Every Waking Moment
by "Vicki"

“Every waking moment.” It was a phrase I’d often heard, but it wasn’t until my son was born with Down syndrome that I knew what it meant. From the moment of his birth, my life changed profoundly in ways that are both indescribably beautiful and unspeakably difficult. 
 
“Your baby has Down syndrome,” the doctor said. 
 
I was incredulous. “My baby has Down syndrome? No. That can’t be right. This is the child I’ve been dreaming about my whole life. This is the child my husband and I underwent five years of fertility treatments to have. There is no more wanted child in the universe…he can’t have Down syndrome.” 

But he does.
 
And ever since, those words – Down syndrome – have floated in front of me, big and black and wavering and menacing. They hang between me and the mirror as I get ready for work. They float between me and the flowers as I tend my garden. They lurk between me and my friends as we talk. Worst of all, they are between me and my son as I gaze at his heartbreakingly beautiful face. They are always, always there, those silent ghost-words that stand between me and the real life that I’m supposed to be living.
 
Even worse than the words is the thought: “My child has Down syndrome.” That thought, that inner whisper, demands attention. It always precedes every other thought. When the phone rang in the middle of the night, my first thought was not, “This is it. Dad has died.” My first thought was “My child has Down syndrome,” and then “Oh no. Dad is gone.” When facing a deadline at work, “My child has Down syndrome,” always precedes, “I have got to get this project done.” When an old friend calls with great news, “My child has Down syndrome,” comes before “How wonderful!”   It’s nothing if not predictable. 
 
The other parents I’ve talked to about this all describe the same thing or something very similar. “When does it stop?” I’d ask. “We’ll let you know if it ever does,” was their reply.
 
June 4, 2009 at 2:59am is a moment I’ll never forget. I woke with a start to the sound of a loud “CRASH!” coming from my backyard. “What’s going on?! What is that noise!?” I thought. That was my first thought. For the first time in more than 17 years, “My child has Down syndrome” took second place in the race for my conscious. It took me a couple of minutes to figure out what was different, and when I did, the relief and fear of that moment paralyzed me. And, it has me still buried under a landslide of emotions.
 
I have no idea what caused the loud “CRASH!” in my yard very early last Thursday morning. 

I like to think it was the sound of my real life, finally showing up.

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